I dont know if its just hormones from the pregnancy that is making me emotional or what. Its stupid really but im having myself a little pity party. I was so close to my dream job. I could have had it. I would have had it. But I turned it down. For a year I knew it was the job I wanted, i dreamed of it, prayed for it, and it worked out perfectly. It was going to be mine. But then I found out I was pregnant. Which is awesome and Im so excited and I wouldnt change it even if I could. But that chagned everything. So I took this other job. That I love. And that gives me the flexibility I need and will want when baby gets here. And it pays more than I could make anywhere else. How could I be so fortunate? I should be so thankful that I have a job. One I love, and one that pays well, in this time where people are loosing their jobs. I Think I just spent so much time stuck on the job i wanted. And i have such as passion for that place and those kids and I would get to see the types of kids I really love and such a wider variety. Then I wonder if I will ever get to work my dream job. I mean when? when my kids are all in school. And take a pay cut to work more, less flexible hours? Why am I even worrying about this now? There is absolutely no point. I should just be so thankful for what a wonderful opportunity that has been provided. Its just hard when my friend HAS my job and shes doing all this cool stuff that would have been me!